WHAT MONEY WILL BUY

It's true, money will pay for almost anything.

As one corrupt and misguided church member once told me, "Everybody has a price." Last week while we were in Chicago, Rej and I had breakfast at a local mall. There was a small kiosk in the middle of the mall that offered massages. It was about a $1 per minute. Here was my chance. "Do you rub feet?" SIDEBAR: If you saw my feet, you would know why my wife refused to touch them. They are not pretty. But my feet hurt, and they need a good rubbing. Introducing the unassuming mall rub down women. She was smart, she put on latex clothes. The foot rub was awesome, and worth 20 minutes of my life.